its been 2wks since that sat. makes me wonder that if u ever think back and see things the way i did. i guess not. almost everyday, the first thing i woke up with was the thought of u. it sucks.. it really does sucks. i tried not to think of u.. i really did.

all i could think was how u treated me on sat. as a friend, human being.. how could u ever be so heartless, callous to turn your back on me. you've once said that u were sorry for treating me that way in the past.. isn't it the same way too? how could u treat a friend like this who was crying. how could u walk away.... when i jus want to talk to u. u said we talked the whole day.. did we?

u probably said i deserved it. i think i really deserved, when i tried reconciling with u.
i did not shoo u away when u come crying for my forgiveness. i did not push u away saying i've got to go back home to sleep when u come crying sorry to me. i did not do all theses.....

but why.. i don't understand. does only your happiness matters to u only?

i hope u find yr happiness soon. u wished she will loved you? i really do.. at least all these madness will stop once and for all. i still stand on what i believe.

i will only contact u when i know what i want.. and i know at this point in my life.. i don't want to see u now... or in the future. pains me more than anything in my life to move away from u. but to think only of yr happiness... its not fair to me. i'v got friends who are there for me. there are friends knows who i want to hear from them. they want me to love myself. they want me to stop contacting you. don't ever compare yourself with them. don't compare yourself with lilian, mary, rash.. they will never be like u. they have conscious. . never, i can nv treat u like them.. not that we've gone through alot.. its just that they are not as callous as u.

it doesn't pay to be kind. not to u. u will not know that i'm gone.