its been 2wks since that sat. makes me wonder that if u ever think back and see things the way i did. i guess not. almost everyday, the first thing i woke up with was the thought of u. it sucks.. it really does sucks. i tried not to think of u.. i really did.

all i could think was how u treated me on sat. as a friend, human being.. how could u ever be so heartless, callous to turn your back on me. you've once said that u were sorry for treating me that way in the past.. isn't it the same way too? how could u treat a friend like this who was crying. how could u walk away.... when i jus want to talk to u. u said we talked the whole day.. did we?

u probably said i deserved it. i think i really deserved, when i tried reconciling with u.
i did not shoo u away when u come crying for my forgiveness. i did not push u away saying i've got to go back home to sleep when u come crying sorry to me. i did not do all theses.....

but why.. i don't understand. does only your happiness matters to u only?

i hope u find yr happiness soon. u wished she will loved you? i really do.. at least all these madness will stop once and for all. i still stand on what i believe.

i will only contact u when i know what i want.. and i know at this point in my life.. i don't want to see u now... or in the future. pains me more than anything in my life to move away from u. but to think only of yr happiness... its not fair to me. i'v got friends who are there for me. there are friends knows who i want to hear from them. they want me to love myself. they want me to stop contacting you. don't ever compare yourself with them. don't compare yourself with lilian, mary, rash.. they will never be like u. they have conscious. . never, i can nv treat u like them.. not that we've gone through alot.. its just that they are not as callous as u.

it doesn't pay to be kind. not to u. u will not know that i'm gone.

help.

no more colours. no more happiness. no more joy. defeated once more. stripped once again.
don't want to hear any more love songs that would remind of u.
don't want to hear look back into the past thinkin what stuff i should or should not have done to change the present.
don't wanna pass by places that we frequent.

i'm really suffocating here. 2 yrs later after this blog was created.
i hope she doesn't see this. i've got no place to rant anymore.

i wanna go away. i do wanna go away. let me leave once and for all.
don't wanna see u no more.
i don't wanna have the feeling of i'm being ard u. so afraid to look into yr eyes. so afraid to meet u on the street. so afraid to to know u might be around. neither i'm yr piority nor you're mine.
i wanna leave just like i did a few mths back. said this ten thousand times. cried a millionth times, kazillionth time knowing what i wan, but not acting on it.
this time nothing is gonna stop me. this time nothing would hold me back.
what happened on sat was a damn wake up call that should had came a mth back, should have let go ten thousand times.

mary,lilian,rash,fit,may,jh,loreatta, jo,kat,ade,susan,jus.. pls slap some sense into me, pull me away from all these..

help me delete. yao na de qi fang de xia.

the almost naked u

whhooo.. DELICIOUS.. with a captital D. =)

mahjong madness

damn right. after these mahjong games.. i'm soon to be an expert. i've even bought instant mahjong cards!! gonna play with lilian after sch reopens.. hoho!! i can imagine.. playing in the sch courtyard.. in the canteen.. wahahah. coolness.

First person...

According to the people who study this sort of thing, once upon a time, when a cavemen saw cavewoman he liked, he would knock her unconscious with his mammoth bone( as in the actual bone of an actual mammoth). he would then drag her by the hair into his cold, badly decorated cave, have his beastly way with her and then sit down to dinner.. why dating is not this easy now?



why is this not totally happening now?!!
its such darn hard.. i'm not to discriminate the other higher being..i mean, the population of the other kind are getting damn terok. MEN.. BOYS.. GAYs..transexual, transvertite.. (is that how u spell?) hiyoh.. it's hard to believe it, isn't it, that an island this small could have so many transverstite men on it!" i'm amused.

that day i was on the street, strolling, dammnn sauy.. saw 2 don't know men or woman..
1 is muscline with over flowing fats in a super tight fitting white tee. 2 is super tiny guy super femaine, super hedious heavily mascar'd, cherry blossoms boobs, fish net stocking.. they should be sent straight to police station seriously. sorry. i mean i do not have anything against them. but AAhhh--HEM!! PUBLIC RESPECT LAR brudder or sista!! alamak. go have a good surgery la. if u are as good looking like that thai kick-ass boxer and AT LEAST with a respectable bossom size, then go ahead and walk the streets lo. if not.. stay at home and incubate or hibernate till the fats are gone can??!!



enough of my thoughts of da day. mahjong skills improving le. yeah. know how to PONG! EAT!! already. someday lil and i can fight liao. hehe.



i do wish i'm in the wooosh.. swish swoosh camp.. yeah right. i told ya. i will have my menses..

and very true.. I AM HAVING IT NOW..

can't wait till my bday!!

cooked my first kang kong today!! it was fabulous! i tell u uh, the amt of chili was like this big !! i'm a good cook i tell u... no one can judge me.. esp fit, rash, lilian. i remember that faces of yours when i was setting up the bbq pit.

lil, fit, rash: cherie.. are u sure u know how to set up??!! (sneering at me!)
cherie: yah.. duh. just go back to the chalet and it will be up soon -.-'''

anyway, with minglee's help, i managed to cook 2 huge plates of kang kong.. we finished 1.5 of it. ALSO!!! i watched the da chang jing.. 0.o blah blah blah



ML IS GOING TO BUY ME MY DIOR SUNGLASS for 1 of my bday present!!! wohoo!!


the green pipallos that us saw at Coffeebean DG on the lookalike cheri'd. that's totally copy cat me. lilian we are gonna get a new birkenstock k!! i must have it.


to rash and fit: where do broken hearts go??

to lilian: we are buying the pipallo weather i like it or not. i know u want it.

to mingoli: can't wait for my bday! today the kang kong( eng cai) we cooked was fabulous!!

Only the shadowns of these eyes...

why do people want to get divorce?? what are their reasons? this sound like a bloody compo.


does the phrase' to cherish and to love till death death do us apart' meant nothing when u both sign the papers?


Katharine Hepburn On marriage: "It's bloody impractical. 'To love, honor, and obey.' If it weren't, you wouldn't have to sign a contract."


feel so helpless. is it so hard to cherish?